A glass.

Holding only 50% of the liquid it could potentially hold.

Is it half full, or half empty?

Or neither.

For surely the area of glass not holding liquidÊis no longer 'a glass'.

That title belongs to the remainder of the receptacle wherein the liquids sits.

Ok.

Now redundant, and lacking function, the upper 50% of the glass, for gravity holds that the liquid would occupy the lower area, no longer qualifies to wear the title 'a glass'; even though that is indeed what it is made of.

Ergo, the remaining tumbler and it's contents become a whole entity unto itself, and effectively, full.

So - we conclude the glass is neither half full nor half empty, but in fact choc-a-block up to the rim.

Or in the circumstance of a meniscus, a wee bit over the rim.

Of course we could argue that if the liquid were aerated, and to help the Collingwood players listening let's say it was beer, a percentage of the liquid was not in fact liquid, but air, thus further complicating our conundrum. I don't go that way.

I like to keep things simple.

Come on Andrew, you know you want to travel to the beat of a different bush to the one I'm beating. You've played the game.

How long is a piece of string, man!

If it's long it's long, if it's short it's short!!; and if shorts are shorts they begin at the band and end at the hem!

If we wanted to see vulgar, silky, flesh-coloured bloomers dominating the thighs of League players, we'd start snow-droppingÊafter dark at retirement villages and kit them out ourselves! More importantly, as well as being cosmetically disturbing, these things pose a fairly full-on fungal threat. League.
Act now!

Give their gonads a go. Get some air in there.

Heave-ho the hose. We no likee lycra.

Put the crack-burner on the back burner.

I'm Billy and I'm boiling.