The Coodabeen Champions | Billy Boils

I wasn’t directed to, but that was the only seat left, so I assumed the position.

I wasn’t aware of course that her father was out of the room getting a chair for me. to be placed quite some way from the head of the table as it turned out.

But for a minute, there I was.

Head of the table. Cock of the walk. King of the hill. A number 1.

Top of the heap.

It didn’t matter I hadn’t earned that privilege.

I was there.

And having been escorted to my proper place not on, but near enough to, the kiddie's table, the food was exactly the same!

No matter I was sitting in a draught. a harsh wintry wind numbing the small of my back. the food was the same!

Position meant nothing.

Another thing.

I went to an orthodox state primary school.

I was however part of an educational experiment.

I was in the rural school.

An annex of education within the body of the school proper where years 1-6 were comprised of 2 boys and 2 girls.

24 pupils together, learning in the same room.

Littlies learning alongside the big kids.

Comfy, cosy ,cosseting; social as well as educational.

Ross Pearce, Liz Burns, Sue Lang and me. That was our year. For six years. from go to whoa.

No position. No status. Just one in all in. The von Trapps.

What a shock then to get to high school and be plonked  in 1e while Elizabeth Burns was anointed with 1a.

It meant nothing they said. Just a system of identification, not grading.

Then how come I was with all the dummies and Burnsie was with all the brainiacs?

I might point out that the very next year they ditched the a-e and classified classes by colour.

However, having been made form captain of the dummies, I enjoyed the same privilege as all the other form captains, Covey.

The same pikelets and scones at the headmaster's afternoon teas.

Position meant nothing. the food was the same!!!

Come on Andrew!!!

You know what I’m saying!

It’s not working!

1-16.

A ladder.

It’s just needless, numbing, numerical, nonsense.

Johnny top-spot’s won only 1 game out of 7.

6 and 7 and maybe 8 can jump 1 or 2  depending on the percentage of 5 and 9.

     What does it mean?

You are in a position to stamp your name on the game.

No, you can sit at the head of the table. forever!

Be brave. Be bold.

Have a red hot go, No-Mo!

Implement a horizontal ranking:colour coded. Talls to smalls. Shirts to skins. Dummies to brainiacs, sliding scale. Whatever! It doesn’t matter.

Re-address the numerical mess.

Fry, flambé, fricassee, flame-grill, for goodness sakes, it doesn’t matter…. lay it out on the table.

The food will be the same; only different.

I’m Billy and I’m boiling