The Coodabeen Champions | Billy Boils

It  would be great to come in here one Saturday and not have to boil.

And I wouldn’t, in a perfect world.

But the world isn’t perfect, it’s round.

And what goes around comes around.

Which I suppose would make the stage, as in all the world’s a stage, a revolving stage.

Or the stage we’re going through cyclic. meaning we’ll be going through it again. and again. and again.

Which is why I come in here every week and boil.

A watched pot never boils.

But this is an aural medium, not a visual one.

So instead of simply simmering, I boil.

Some weeks I boil quickly, others it takes a little longer.

Boiling points correspond to altitude so perhaps I’m sitting a little higher in my chair some weeks.

The chairs here have a hydraulic function so it’s possible.

Statistical mechanics show that solutes have a bearing on boiling points so if I’ve had a little more sugar or perhaps salt prior to boiling that would mean I have to heat harder in order to get my vapour pressure equal to the atmospheric pressure therefore increasing my boiling point.

But this is pretty dry isn’t it.

And I don’t want to boil dry.

I need a little lubrication in my lugubriation!

Some mettle in my kettle.

Polly put the kettle on? More like folly put the kettle on!

League!

A ground with a roof, wet and slippery-folly!

$4.50 for a bucket of chips-folly.

Weekends without footy-folly.

Frivolous fining-folly.

Second mortgages to afford financing family tickets to finals-folly.

No state matches-folly.

Umpies dressed like fruit tingles-folly.

Come on Andrew!!

Take your irons out of the fire I’m boiling on and lance the boils I’m boiling on.

Fire up. do your lolly and fling the folly.

I’m Billy, and I’m boiling.