The Coodabeen Champions | Billy Boils

They say an oral contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.

Would that then make a written contract all talk and no action?

Would the party of the first part come to the party if it wasn’t even their party to cry at?

I’m thinking of coaches here.

And footy clubs.

Poor old Johnny coach.

Gets a job at a club. Gets a limp handshake. Gets a press conference. Gets a lame tracksuit. Gets a contract.

Inherits motley, molly-coddled misfits and is expected to magically transform same into mighty, multi-skilled misfits within the term of his contract.

They look like the A-team, they’re marketed like the X-men, but they play like F-troop.

Poor old Johnny coach.

At least he’s got a contract.

Looking a little heavy on the con at this stage, but a contract none-the-less.

Oh well. You lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.

And he’d like to flee, but he’s contracted you see, and they cut down a tree or more to make the a-4  that bears his inked paw.

Poor Johnny coach.

The season’s kaput but still he stays put. Put up or shut up. Up there cazaly. Never give up. Been down so long it looks like up from here. Up is the reward for being down. Up, up ,and away, rise up, sit up, get up, give up, fed up.

Misery loves company yet he addresses the huddles and still feels alone. There is no loneliness like failure and failure is a stranger in its own house.

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.

Poor old Johnny coach.

Don’t worry he says  as he cradles his head in his hands at the dinner table, spilling viscose salt on the place mat.

I’ve got a contract.

A contract.

A contract that will not be honored next year.

A contract that in reality should be double ply and perforated every four and a half inches.

A contract supposedly offered in honour, though in reality, more off than on.

League.

These clubs are your flagship.

Their conduct reflects upon you as a governing body.

By continuing to allow high-handed and heinous treatment of those who seek to serve, you are not only cheating the servant, but yourselves.

I’m Billy, and I’m boiling.