The Coodabeen Champions | Billy Boils

It’s frustrating, annoying, and rude.

Petrol shops are the worst.

Maybe it’s because the price of their fuel is writ so large, they don’t feel they have to price anything else.

Those big multipacks of water - unpriced.

Firewood and kindling - who’d know?

Same once you get inside the shop.

Those stinky little pine trees and lemons which neutralize, or rather overpower, unpleasant automotive odour - No indication of cost. none at all. Pie with a crust like a tortoise shell? Unadorned by fiscal indication.

I know the marketing  theory behind it; you’ve come in, you  want the item. If you get slugged at the register , you  cop it sweet and fork out the folding. Don’t make waves, mustn’t make a scène, oh well, dear me, shan’t grumble, big fizz.

Not me. I won’t be conned.

If it doesn’t have a price, I don’t want it. I’ll walk.

Bide my time and save my dosh and get it somewhere else.

This week, I had occasion to ponder the price of  2004 Grand Final tickets.

I know the premium seats are up 30 bucks to 160, but I was curious to know just how much it would cost  Johnny not-million-aire.

Just a couple of rounds to the finals I thought, they’d probably have it up on old gabbo .

When the homepage finally lumbered on screen I entered the links I thought would take me to the answers I sought.

Nope. Not there, I’ll try another avenue of inquiry.

Or should I say cul-de-sac. Or sacs, because they were all dead ends.

By now my fingers are dancing over the keyboard like Nijinsky gracing the finest stages of Europe, they’re a blur, I can’t see them.

 20 minutes later and they’re plodding around like an octogenarian hoofer at the Tiv.

Old gabbo must have ducked out for a cigger and handed the reins to Bruce Doull, that’s how communicative things  had become.

So I did what I always do.

It didn’t have a price. I didn’t want it. I walked.

Come on Andrew.

AFL web site? More like afl pleb site!

If you  did a spell check on it I think you’d  find you’d left the w.  And the u. Out of afl, and the h. out of site.

What’s the use of using the information superhighway  if you’re traveling in an old bullock dray?

League.

We want answers before we’ve thought of the questions, and results before we’ve asked for them. Our dosh is propping you up. Put our money where your mouth is.

And if someone tells me tickets  to a Grand Final are priceless, I’ll believe them.

I’m Billy, and I’m boiling.