The Coodabeen Champions | Billy Boils

I had to check on the moon.

It wasn’t full.

Then the  calender.

No, not even close to the first of april.

There was too much type-face for it to be a typographical error,

And the article was put together by two journalists, doubling the odds against lunatic dogma slipping through the net.

It had to be real.

It was  real.

But still, hard to believe.

Two conspicuous athletes out on the turps publicly trading blows would be a concern for the clubs listing those players I would have thought.

And an embarrassment for the men guiding them.

If the shoe fits, wear it, but it looks like I’m out of step with messrs sheedy and malthouse.

They’ve chosen to go softly softly kid gloves on their players tarrant and Johnson.

Malthouse  seems to have initiated a new form of discipline.

Molly-coddling-wood.

I’ll now quote from a newspaper article. the syntax which follows, though almost surreal and certainly bizarre, is as printed. this is Michael malthouse.

“I’ll say one thing about discipline, you have got to be very, very careful about discipline because there is ways and means of administering it.”

“one is, why should I penalize our million-odd supporters, our

40,000 members, our partners in sponsorship and the teammates?”

“to penalize them would be to leave the player out. I have no desire to penalize those people, and it is not just talking about chris, it is talking about anything.”

“there are other means, and we will look after that internally and those things will never be outside these walls”.

Ye gods!

Who scripted that for him? Joh bjelke-petersen?

Talking gobbledygook in tongues may have seemed a clever idea for a smokescreen but once the vapid vapors of invective vanish, we are left with the true meaning behind this ridiculous statement.

High profile footballers at collingwood can behave badly and bring disgrace upon themselves ,their club , and the code, but will not be dropped.

For his part sheedy explained it away with “in fairness to some kids, they had just come off a pretty wet cold wintry afternoon, and it is their night off.”

You beaut. Next wet cold wintry afternoon go out, get a skinful, throw your weight around and make Saturday night as unpleasant for as many people as you can.

And you’ll still get a game next week.

For goodness sake.

It’s been a horrid year in headlines for footballers and their behaviour.

We need firm guidance from our senior statesmen.

No-one is above a civilized code of conduct. if the shoe fits, wear it.

How can you put your best foot forward if you’re too big for your boots? Especially if the left foot doesn’t know what the right foot is doing.

I’m Billy, and I’m boiling.