Some sayings from Guru Bob

The CoodabeenChampions

"A rabbit cannot ride a horse.
You can't always get what you want, but you can get what you need.
And once you've got what you need, you can swap it for what you want."

"If you fall off the donkey 7 times, you must bounce back up 8 times. BUT - if you fall off the donkey 10 times, you're not cut out for riding donkeys..."

"You know, Collingwood often gets a good go from the umpires.
Indeed, the Supreme Master's favourite saying is:
"When it come to free kicks,
Collingwood not only gets the good end of the stick
- they get the WHOLE STICK".

"David Schwarz went out to play
David Schwarz was having a nice day
but every time he tried anything
The umpies went: "Brrrrrrr! you're pinged"

"when it comes to some umpires being more suspect than others,
for example, umpire number nine,
well, we are reminded of the denunciation by Henry II of His Archbishop Cromwell, when he shouted:
"who will rid me of this troublesome priest!?"

"When Achilles took on Hector in the Trojan Horse business,
Hector gave Achilles 'The Bird',
and King Canute was washed in on the tide and drowned.
And the result was that in the end,
lack of hydration that cost them dearly......"

"Some players never know when they are beaten.
Some players don't know when they're winning either.
Cos some players have no idea of what's going on at all."

I asked the Supreme Master:
"Supreme Master, why does Collingwood have any fans at all?
He replied:
"Guru Bob. Why does an ugly child, have a mother who loves it?
Think about that.

"when it's all said and done,
when it comes to the end of the day
the night comes, and then a new day begins..."

When Josef Stalin walked out of his meeting with Churchill and Roosevelt, he declared:
"I refuse to work with anyone with such an obvious conflict of interest. It's in my contract"

Wellington said to Napoleon at Waterloo after pulling his pants down:
"Too old, too slow
Can't kick, can't play,
you're no good, you never were",
and he finished off with:
"you've only won one flag in your tragic history"

The Lilliputians said of Gulliver, when they got him tied up:
"It's a triumph because he's very hard to knock off his feet"

When Moses pulled off his feat of parting the Red Sea, his assistant, his son Ezekiel, said:
"he's been practising that at training".
And when the waters dramatically parted, Ezekiel cried:

When The Kaiser heard that Matahari, the famous spy, had left the Germans, had been working for the French, and had then gone over to the Hungarians, he declared at the press conference:
"that's why we traded her".

The exploits of Cassius, Tony, were legendary. He seduced over a hundred women in Roman times.
His slogan was:
"Have one with the man who kicked a ton".

After the famous Bible story of David and Goliath, it is reported that the newspapers said the following day:
"He didn't need many possessions, but gee, his efficiency percentage was good".

It was 7th century Chinese thinker Yang Tang who said:
"you know the expression 'you can't have your cake and eat it too'?
Well, what is the point of having your cake if you can't eat it?"

I tell the young novices at the Temple:
There are but three certainties in life:
Death, Taxes, and the English will not win The Ashes back in our lifetime".

Mafu, at the Temple, tells the young novices, that The Bombers are still suspect, because they haven't beaten anyone above them yet. 1

As the Chinese victims said of the Death By A Thousand Cuts:
"It's not so much where you get them, it's how many you get"

Leigh Matthews said to Chris Scott at half-time:
"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either.
Just go away, and leave me alone altogether".

Injuries have decimated St. Kilda. Old saying:
"man with one chopstick, go hungry"

They talk of great comebacks. Tony, in pre-history, the cockroach went to the brink of extinction, before becoming the most prolific insect on the planet.
THAT is the greatest comeback of all time, AND they went on with it".

Very very Old Saying, in Latin:
It means:
"You never know who's really going to win a game, until it's actually been played"

There is another Old Saying, translated from the Uighur script on the Tomb Of Ulan Bator:
"Inside every old player, there's a young player, wondering 'what happened'?"

It is written in Texta on The Great Wall Of China, about the odds of the wall being breached:
Mathematically, it's still possible. But geo-physically, I don't think so".

The Supreme Master reminds us:
"Certain players never know when they're beaten.
Some players don't know when they're winning either.
'Cos some players have no idea of what's going on at all"

As Abner said to Saul after David had smote Goliath on debut against the Philistines at Shochoh:
"This bloke only needs one or two possesions and he can really hurt the opposition.
We picked him up from the Geelong Falcons after the Cats decided they didn't want him"

"As Agamemnon said when the Achaians drafted Achilles for the Trojan war...
'He can run around and jump up and down, but can he get the ball?'.
He turned out to be a handy player who could be used in a variety of positions."

"You can lead a horse to water, but if you can make it swim like Thorpey, you've really got something."

"Mafu tipped Freo to win. I told him, from my book written in Latin, entitled 'Cogito Ergo Sumich':
"Non veritas, non veritas, tunicum ignito". Which, when translated, means: "liar, liar, pants on fire"

It says in The Bible, Book of Shane 3:11 --
"it is harder to win a Premiership, than it is to put a needle into the eye of a camel".

Here's a link to more thoughts of Guru Bob

The CoodabeenChampions