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The lyrics to lots of Greg's Songs are here below.

The 6.15 from Hurstbridge

riding on the train from Montmorency
black and white as far as eye can see
pass the paper bag that holds the bottle
bound for friday footy at the G
and the sons of union members
and the mums of transport workers
pick up more at Greensborough and Mcleod
and they all join in that worn refrain
'bout uphold-ing that Magpie name
and too bad if you're not one of the crowd

here comes the 6.15 from Hurstbridge
ferry-ing the feral Magpie hordes
it's the black and white Express from Montmorency
'n' if YOU'RE not one of them, don't get on board

before it even gets to Montmorency
it stops at Wattle Glen & Diamond Creek
even scrapes a few folk up in Eltham
this will be the highlight of their week
from Heidelberg down to Fairfield
Alphington to Clifton Hill
but none from Eaglemont & Ivanhoe
stopping at Victoria Park
As the evening fades to dark
they talk about why Malthouse had to go

nighttime on the train to Montmorency
all forlorn now, such a quiet ride
didn't pan out quite how they intended
and once again, completely crucified
they roll through dirty Richmond
and on to Westgarth station
and they talk of other things to hide their grief
and mostly the discussion turns
on everybody's chief concern
how to get a better set of teeth

there goes the 10.15 to Hurstbridge, carry-ing the feral Magpie hordes.....

"Fields of Casey"

champion-anthony golding
got my GPs in my Range Rover
to find the Fields Of Casey
it is on the road out to Buffalo
or at least that’s what I’m told

down the Eastern Freeway past Toorak Road
we will find the Fields Of Casey
it don’t matter if there are unsealed roads
we will take the four wheel drive

can you get a good cappuccino there
in the far-off Fields Of Casey
are there any five star hotels out there
for a family weekend

I believe it’s somewhere near Dandenong
Those elusive Fields Of Casey
If we do get lost we could head for the
Holiday house at Portsea

got my GPs in my Range Rover
to find the Fields Of Casey
it is on the road out to Buffalo

or at least that’s what I’m told

---

Here's the currently popular PORT POWER song:

PORT CLUB SONG

champion-harris

weÌve got our GTHOs

our hot Monaros

oh yeah, with hot-wired ignition

weÌve got our Monster Truck Shows

our hate for the Crows

oh yeah, Port Adelaide tradition

weÌve got souped-up Commodores

Cortinas of course

oh yeah, with modified suspension

weÌve got re-built panel vans

got Utes and Sandmans

oh yeah, in as-new condition

weÌve got Pintaras with fats

weÌre covered in tatts

oh yeah, youÌll hear us when weÌre cominÌ

and we donÌt stop stop stop for the cop cop cops

oh no, we know we can outrun Îem

if you want 180Bs

or 120Ys

oh yeah, we know about the caper

and we can do you a deal

for prices unreal

complete, with full rego. papers

The CONTROVERSIAL cricket songs for the 06/7 Ashes Series:

[THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT]

these words: greg champion-david brooks

see the convicts, the mighty convicts

defeat the Poms again

see the Pommies the poor ole Pommies

complain of everything

they whinge away they whinge away

see the Army, the Barmy Army

trying hard to sing

see the Englishmen, poor old Englishmen

try in vain to win

they whinge away they whinge away

[YELLOW SUBMARINE]

these words: greg champion-david brooks

Well, you come here from abroad

âecos back home you, are so bored

It is wet, and it is cold

And everybodyâfs sad and old

CH.

You all live in a boring rotten place

a boring rotten place, a boring rotten place

You all live in a boring rotten place

a boring rotten place, a boring rotten place

YOU CANâfT CALL AUSTRALIA HOME

[tune: I still call Australia home]

greg champion- david brooks

Iâfve been to England and I got out real quick

The beer was too warm and the food made me sick

And when you come out to visit you groan and you moan

âecos you canâft call Australia home

Iâfve heard great singing at outdoor events

By many fine nations on all continents

And when I hear the strains of the Barmy Army

I know one day theyâfll go homeâc.âfcosâc.

They canâft call Australia home

[to the tune of NEIGHBOURS]

these words: greg champion

Convicts â|

Pommies love to call us convicts

âecos they think it hurts our feelings

but we love it, yes we do

when they â|

sent us out here to Australia

we said âgtop spot for a barbecueâh

YOU EAT FISH & CHIPSâcâc.

[Tune: yellow rose of Texas]

these words: greg champion-david brooks

youâfve gone backwards in the Rugby

youâfre no good at football

you never win at tennis

you canâft play sport at all

you bombed in The Olympics

youâfre duds at Rugby League

youâfve only got one thing we donâft --

a Royal Family

you eat fish & chips for breakfast

you shower once a week

you speak with English accents

your countryâfs up the creek

you live on boiled carrots

and stodgy Yorkshire pud

youâfll never win The Ashes

because you are no good

[ROAD TO GUNDAGAI]

greg champion-david brooks

Cannot bat cannot bowl

cannot catch a sausage roll

they are the bumbling, fumbling Poms

they are trying to keep up

but how can they win

when the Aussies have Haydos

Gilchrist and Ponting

See McGrath see Brett Lee

See the Pommies on their knees

the Baggy Greenâfs on top again

Itâfs amazing to think they

invented the game

because each time they come here

they get stitched up again

Cannot bat cannot bowl

cannot catch a sausage roll

the Baggy Greenâfs on top again

[ITâfS A LONG WAY TO THE TOP]

noel dennison-greg champion

bakinâf in the hot sun

Aussies in control

Pilinâf up the hundreds

No-one left to bowl

Gettingâf thumped

Gettingâf whacked

Getting hit out

Of the attack

Pommy backs

To the wall

Nobody wants to take the new ball

Itâfs a long day for the Poms when they have to have a bowl

Aussie bats knockinâf up ton after ton

When itâfs their turn theyâfll be followinâf on

Itâfs a long day for the Poms when they have to have a bowl

BAD TEAM COMINâf

[bad moon risinâf]

greg champion-jane harris

I seen a bad team arrivinâf

I seen âeem gettinâf off the plane

Looks like theyâfre in for nasty weather

I seen âeem goinâf down again

Donâft you leave your seat

itâfs gonna be short âenâf sweet

Thereâfs a bad team on the run

Hope youâfve got some new fast bowlers

Hope youâfve got some batsmen too

I seen bad things a-cominâf

I seen troubled times for you

Donâft you leave your seat

itâfs gonna be short âenâf sweet

Thereâfs a bad team on the run

ITâfS A LONG WALKâcâc

[Tune: TIPPERARY]

greg champion-david brooks

itâfs a long walk to the changerooms

when youâfre out for a duck

itâfs a long walk to the changerooms

when youâfre having such bad luck

when McGrath or Warnie gets you

itâfs farewell Fred Flintoff

itâfs a long walk to the changerooms

so you might as well trudge off

itâfs a long walk to the changerooms

so you might as well trudge off

TAMPERING WITH THE BALL

(Tune: Tangled Up In Blue –Bob Dylan)

jane harris-champion

a break in the cricket at The Oval

the Pakis having a snack

we’re staying in the changeroom says

Inzamam Ul Al Haq

He says you have called us cheats

That’s something we cannot take

We’re gonna take a long break

Hey, pass me another cake

But woops, they forfeited the game

Declares the referee

Now there’s a big kerfuffle between

them and the ICC

‘cos they were called

for tamperin’ with the ball

then Imran Khan he wades right in

he says it’s a disgrace

he predicts that Darrell Hair

will emerge with egg on face

PM Johnny predictably

Says rules must be obeyed

We haven’t heard Dean Jones’s view

I wonder what he’d say

All we’ve got is the measured statements

Of one Malcolm Speed

Sayin’ it’s a very serious

Grave affair indeed, it concerns us all

tamperin’ with the ball

then Pandora’s floodgates open

they haven’t closed ‘em since

what about those sweets they suck

what do they do with them mints?

It’s gonna go to the United Nations

Right through to Kofi Annan

He’s gonna send peace-keeping forces

To England and Pakistan

Effigies of Darrel Hair

Burn on the Subcontinent

All the hallmarks of an

International incident

Diplomats recalled

tamperin’ with the ball

next thing ya know our Aussie Darrell

has asked for a payout fee

his agent wants fifty million bucks

in hard US currency

the Stackpoles and Jeff Thompsons then

express their views on this

still haven’t heard from Dean Jones

wonder where he is

meanwhile Aussie Darrel in

Bermuda has been seen

His agent has been talking to

High profile magazines

he’s gonna tell all

tamperin’ with the ball

Here's the current(and counting...) list of tunes to which Champs has set 'Advance Australia Fair':
1 gilligan's island
2 ghost riders in the sky
3 yellow submarine
4 ruby, don't take your love to town
5 locomtion
6 viva las vegas
7 mack the knife
8 when i'm 64
9 house of the rising sun
10 eagle rock

PIES TUMBLE DOWN IN JULY

Tune: Slim Dusty

There?s a sombre mood in the changeroom
the lockers, stand lonely and bare
there?s a cloud hanging over The Chairman
who would want to be a millionaire
Mick is giving another press conference
The daggers, they flash from his eyes
Yeah but that?s just the old Magpie story
When the Pies tumble down in July

In the paper Mike Sheahan is probing
Chris Tarrant and Rocca are named
As Mick gives another press conference
And refuses to lay any blame
And the fans and the cheer squad look angry
They scream that they?ve been crucified
Ah but that?s just what happens each winter
When the Pies tumble down in July

There are things that are constant in football
like grant Thomas baffling us all
Like KB not talking to Richmond
Criticizing the tribunal
There?s a look on the face of The Chairman
The sponsors stand nervously by
It?s a time-honoured football tradition
that the Pies tumble down in July

Yeah and that?s just the old Magpie story
When the Pies tumble down in July

MEMBERS OF THE MCC
tune: born to run [springsteen] words: john ogge-champion
1.
by day we sit in the boardrooms of
our Daddies’ companies
at night we drive down Balwyn Road
in our 4 wheel drive machines
raised on Melway map 59
we grew up living on the right side of the tramlines - woh -
baby my Volvo’s got a roof rack
and the private school kiddies in the back
they go to Wesley and Haileybury
and baby blokes like us we’re members of the MCC
2.
I keep the chains and the ski gear in the 4 car garage
For the long weekends
I’m tossing up between a Lexus and a Merc.
To go with my BM
Baby it’s been a long season
And I might go insane if I don’t escape to Dinner Plain - woh -
When we get through this financial year
If the Nasdaq’s right I’m gonna
Hit the slopes in France or Italy
and baby blokes like us we’re members of the MCC
3.
I’m gonna flash my medallion
Meet some friends of the old man
For a pre-game chardonnay
We’re gonna shoot the breeze about Securities
And find out who’s playin’ today
Baby I’m getting’ tired of all these jokers
who keep singing sarcastic songs about the Dees
and baby blokes like us we’re members of the MCC

IT’S A LONG WAY TO GEELONG…..

(tune: long way to the top – AC/DC) these words: justin turner–greg champion

hit the Princes Highway

cross the Westgate

roadworks at Laverton

now we’re sure to be late

would be quicker

on the bus

You Yangs

ridiculous

I’m gonna boil

I’m gonna roast

It would be easier flyin’ to the Gold Coast

CHORUS:

‘cos it’s a long way to Geelong when the Cats are on at home

it’s a long way to Geelong when the Cats are on at home

then the game’s over, you knew you couldn’t win

then back past the stupid You Yangs again

‘cos it’s a long way to Geelong when the Cats are on at home

there goes Werribee

here comes the zoo

hello goodbye Lara

Dunno nothin’ ‘bout you

refinery

trotting track

too late now

for turning back

water slide

Ford cars

Get me to the Lord of the Isles front bar

(CHORUS)

ORANGE & THE GREEN

these words: greg champion
CHORUS:
Oh it is the biggest mix-up that you have ever known
Me father is a Power man me mother she’s a Crow

Oh my Daddy is blue collar, from Ethelton came he
my mother is a Beaumont girl she went to MLC
at a motel in Glenelg the two were wed and honeymooned
but since Port joined the AFL they sleep in separate rooms

oh and when the Crows arrived my mother fell for Nigel Smart
Scotty Hodges, David Marshall, cute young Benny Hart
While Daddy fed me stories of Alberton by night
And raved about his heroes David Grainger and Bruce Light

Now when I was small my Mum said “if you know what’s good for you
You’ll be a loyal Norwood boy and dress in red and blue”
But me Dad had other plans, as soon as Mum was out of sight
He’d dress me in the prison stripes of Magpie black and white

Then one day at Football Park it was at Showdown X One Vee
I was with me Mum & Dad when things began to turn ugly
Pretty soon it fired up, a Ramsgate-style melee
And me bein’ strictly neutral well, everyone belted me

CLUB SONG CLANGERS
champion-macarthur-harris-ogge [tune: bound for botany bay]

we’re the admiration of a nation
we’re respected by our foes
we hit ‘em real high and we hit ‘em low
and we give ‘em the old heave-ho

though they send us up we’ll keep our end up
we’re riding the bumps with a grin
if we are behind well, we never mind
‘cos we’re risking our head and our shin

oh – just for rec-er-eation’s sake
to pass the time of day
we play the game as it should be played
at home or far away

oh – what though the odds they be great or small
we strike down the thunder from the sky
should auld acquaintance be forgot
from dawn to dark, our banners fly high

we won’t stop stop stop stop till we’re top top top
‘cos teamwork is the thing that talks
we have lots of fun, we have heaps of fun
and the premiership is a cakewalk

SIZE OF THE FIGHT IN THE DOG
greg champion
CHORUS:
It’s not the size of the dog, dog in the fight
Dog in the fight, oh no
It’s not the size of the dog, dog in the fight
It’s the size of the fight in the dog
1.
When you go out West, the people live
A little more modestly
And they learn from young to struggle hard
For any victory
And they’ve worked out the things that count
You gotta have heart in large amounts
2.
well there’s a bunch of boys
who’ve had to do it hard
had to battle to stay alive
but thanks be to the Football God
they’ve managed to survive
Bulldogs bark and Bulldogs bite
Bulldogs’ future looking bright
REFRAIN:
And there’s one thing the Bulldog knows
The harder they come, the harder they go

DEAN LAIDLEY
words: Stuart McArthur - Greg Champion
( tune: If I Were A Carpenter )

If I were a newspaper
and I had a page free
I'd go and fill that page
with stuff on Dean Laidley

The public don't want to know
about Britney's baby
all they want is the juicey goss
'bout the bloke Dean Laidley

[bridge]
    Trash that scoop on Tiger Woods
    and Prince Charles's lady
    stop the press - we've got the goods
    all about Dean Laidley

If I were the Premier
or yer footy supporter
I'd want to know Deano's views
on how to start each quarter

if I were a military man
in the air force or navy
I would want to pick the brains
of the great Dean Laidley

[bridge]
In The Age and in The Sun
the whole world's gone crazy
tryin to find what's going on
in the mind of Dean Laidley

they're puttin' out a tribute song
recorded by Mike Brady
so everyone can sing along
about the man Dean Laidley

DERMIE's HAIR
words: Stuart McArthur - Greg Champion
( tune: I Saw Her Standing There - Beatles)

I nearly choked - on my cake
I thought there must be some mistake
coz the way it looked - was way beyond compare
well, I've never been so astonished (ooh)
as when I first saw Dermie's hair

well I called to the kids
I said "Hey kids, look at this!"
and the kids they came - running from everywhere
well they - all put down - their play-stations (ooh)
so they could look at Dermie's hair

[bridge]
well, a bit went here
and another bit here
and some more bits o-ver there-ere (ooh)

well, it frightened the kids
and no way was that a wig
coz the wig-designers - they would not go there
I'm still shaking my head in amazement (ooh)
when I first saw Dermie's hair

[bridge]
well I'd like to know
where he gets it done
so I could avoid going there-ere (ooh)

well you couldn't call it curl
and you couldn't call iot gel
to put it into words, I would not dare
Please do not try it at home, kids
don't even look at Dermie's hair
(I said, what's wrong with Dermie's hair)

WORRYING SIGNS
words: Stuart McArthur - Greg Champion
( tune: Little Egypt - Elvis )

It was only the first quarter
but the G-Train had just scored his
seventh goa-oa-oa-oa-oal
Our go-back forward go-back types
and midfield types had fallen in a
a ho-o-o-o-ole
each time our full-back kicked out
to the flank he only picked out
Nick Riewol-ol-ol-ol-oldt

these were
wo-rrying signs
wo-rrying signs
difficult times
we're in decline

we’ve only had two inside-fifties
and our crumbing forward’s pretty
i-i-i-i-ill
the centre duels are uneven
every clearance ends with Steven
Mi-i-i-i-ilne
I don't want the journalist
to say it but I know they probably
wi-i-i-i-ill

these are
wo-rrying signs
wo-rrying signs
difficult times
we're in decline

[ bridge ]
The umpy didn’t take too kindly - to our captain’s plea
on second thoughts he should’ve said we're happy with the frees
there’s noone who can take a mark, all along the spine - which
insofar as we’re concerned’s a
wo-rrying sign

After the long interval they
came out and shellacked us even
more-ore-ore-ore-ore
Gehrig bagged another three
and Riewoldt two before we'd even
score-ore-ore-ore-ored
Mike Sheahan says we'll have a long
hard season on the evidence he
saw-aw-aw-aw-aw

these are
wo-rrying signs
wo-rrying signs
difficult times
we're in decline

BALLAD OF JONATHAN BROWN
words: Stuart McArthur - Greg Champion
( tune: Ballad of Hurricane - Bob Dylan )

Quarter time siren on a Friday night
The law enforcement officer sees a little fight
He’s watching one of the big names of the sport
“Be careful” he cries out “or else I will report”
Here comes the story of Jonathan Brown
the man the umpies tried to bring down
for something he only sorta done
coulda been suspended for one game or two,
for unduly rough play

Now Jonathan could hurt a man with just one crunch
but on the field he tried not to do it too much
“I didn’t do it” he says, and he throws up his hands
McBurnley says “I beg to differ, young man”
coz he had a reputation as a wild kid
no-one there doubted he did what he did
and with that TV videotape
it seems there could be no escape
for this burly hulk from Warrnambool

Meanwhile somewhere else in a sunny northern town
Lethal and his legal team are all sittin’ around
All these lawyers in their coats and their ties
Ordering martinis with a Bundy on the side
Up in Surfers Paradise
where the shoes are white and the beaches are nice
Tryin’ to work out what to do
To beat this rap called undu - ly rough play
- although it seems that’s what he did

Then someone remembers a clause in the books
they could manipulate to get him off the hook
they started planning the perfect surprise
“we gotta pull one over Rick Lewis’s eyes”
We’ll be doing society a favour
Port Adelaide is brave and getting braver
Besides the League has let us down
They want a prelim. in their town, and we’re gonna need
our precious Johnny Brown

All of Johnny’s cards were marked in advance
the trial was a mockery - the umpies had no chance
The judge declared “how can it be rough play?”
and he decided Johnny Brown could walk away
The tribunal knew it was a crazy call
Though no-one doubted the truth of it all
And though he mighta been guilt-y
They couldn’t nail him for this deed, no indeed
And Elaine Canty agreed!

Jonathan Brown left town, having gotten off the hook
Because the jury had to play by the book
The AFL said Rick Lewis must be jokin’
And Adrian Anderson, he was the most outspoken
And that’s the story of Jonathan Brown
The man the system couldn’t bring down
Brian Colless threw out the claim
The AFL said it was a shame, and Adrian Anderson
Is now a household name

CRUCIAL STATS
words: Stuart McArthur - Greg Champion
( tune: Kool For Kats - UK Squeeze )

The coach is sendin’ signals
from the box behind the glass
The full back moves in tighter
to prevent a forward pass
The tagging back is sledging
as the go-to forward leads
He doesn’t mind the language
it’s the turn-overs ‘e needs
Today’s key indicator
is reducing needless frees
If they up their tackle tally
and their clanger count is flat
they’ll boost their one-percenters
BE-cause these are crucial stats
they’re crucial….
CRU - CIAL STATS!

Our centre breaks are dreadful
coz we got nowhere to go
They got a gang of midfielders
wot we can’t overfrow
We only kicked one goal
and it was early in the game
Since then we missed eleven
it is SUCH a bleedin shame
It’s funny how our misses always look the bleedin same
but - meanwhile in the rezzies there’s a coupla likely lads
been gettin’ fifty touches
and they’re very crucial stats
they’re crucial...
CRU - CIAL STATS!

To mix it up a little
we rotate the resting ruck
He’s bloody hard to deal with
coz ‘e likes to run amuck
He fancies this ‘e fancies that
he wants to be so flash
He tries to stooge his tagger
into going for the bash
The VFL is calling him - he's heading for a crash
He’s - gotta learn the center square is not a wrestlin’ mat
and work on ‘is effective taps
coz they are crucial stats
they’re crucial….
CRU - CIAL STATS!

WHERE THINGS USED TO BE
words: Stuart McArthur - Greg Champion
( tune: Memphis Tennessee - Chuck Berry )

Telstra information, give me Bookings MCG
I want to watch a game from where Bay Thirteen used to be
Or go back to what used to be behind the Punt Road goals
and buy some sushi where they sold hot dogs and chiko rolls

Blue-coat man please tell me where my pre-paid seat is found
It used to be so easy buying tickets at the ground
He tells me "Go to Light Tower 5 then up to Level Three
You’ll find it coz it’s next to where the scoreboard used to be"

I take the elevator to Pavilion Section Three
I find my turquoise seat just where the bench seats used to be
I watch those youngsters running round called Nathan and Brad-y
upon the hallowed turf where Bull and Mopsy used to be

The game still has 4 quarters but all likeness ends right there
Nowadays the coach demands they all play front and square
I watch a team from Sydney play what used to be the Bears
in colours that South Melbourne and the Royboys used to wear

I buy a Sunday paper (used to be the Sunday Press)
Apart from Scotty’s Punchlines I don’t understand the rest
There’s stats on inside fiftys, and on turnovers and frees
wasting space where the premiership table used to be

ADELAIDE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT
words: Stuart McArthur - Greg Champion
( tune: LA International Airport - Susan Raye )

I stand in the departure hall
Waiting for that final call
Soon to leave this city I hold dear
flying with my Crowie mates
got a crunch game interstate
Every time I leave I shed a tear

coz I won’t see ‘til Sunday night
this masterpiece of Colonel Light
this cultured city with its fringe of green
I can’t wait ‘til they instal
a plasma screen in Rundle mall
so Adelaide can watch their favourite team

Adelaide International Airport
Where the big jet engines roar
Adelaide International Airport
The world keeps knocking at your door

While we’re gone this airport hums
seems the whole world wants to come
to taste the tempting treats of Adelaide
Tourists land at early dawn
to see where David Hookes was born
and touch the grass where Graham Cornes once played

Next stop on the tour would be
a fine Barossa brasserie
to wash a bratwurst down with liebfrau-vine
then off to con a backstage pass
a chARnce to glARnce as dARncers prARnce
and meet some bon vivants to wine and dine

Adelaide International Airport
Where the big jet engines fuel
Adelaide International Airport
Gateway to Australia’s jewel

Sunday night we’re flying back
soon I will be seated at
the Ramsgate with a Coopers ale or three
Then I’ll tuck myself in bed
with a Coonawarra red
and watch my “best of Modra” DVD

At midnight Sunday we touch down
the press in the arrival lounge
are hoping for a word with Gary Ayres
“At the end of the day” says he
“we're striving for consistency!”
It’s good the way his thoughts he always shares

Adelaide International Airport
Where the big jet planes touch down
Adelaide International Airport
Gateway to this magic town

MIKE SHEAHAN'S TOP TEN
words: Stuart McArthur - Greg Champion
( tune: Cover Of The Rolling Stone - Dr Hook )

I’m an AFL star, and I drive a flash car
and I’m loved everywhere I go.
I face each confrontation with steely concentration
for $5000 a throw
I use ALL my skills
and I get ALL my thrills
but the biggest thrill of all, my friend,
is the thrill I’d get me if I managed to net me
a spot in Mike Sheahan’s top ten

Mike’s top ten
wanna see my form appreciated
top ten
wanna hear Scott and Gerard debate it
top ten
justify my superstar tag
with a spot in Mike Sheahan’s top ten

Now my real nice mummy likes to fill my tummy
with pasta bolognaise and light beer.
And my proud-as-punch daddy gets there early each Sad-dy
to settle on the boundary and cheer.
Now I’d like to SPEND
happy times with THEM
but the times aren’t that happily spent
coz they don’t feel enraptured like they would if I captured
a spot in Mike Sheahan’s top ten

Mike’s top ten
I’m consistently a Brownlow hopeful
top ten
even play okay at Optus Oval
top ten
grab me some of them media bucks
with a spot in Mike Sheahan’s top ten

Sure I’ve got myself a harem, but Mike told Gerard
he “didn’t have a problem with that.”
and I’m quite well-centred, I’ve got Blighty as my mentor
and I’ve gotten my “Pilates” down pat
I THRIVE on the leadership
role the club gave me
I’m an excellent leader of men!
but my mates STILL bag me coz I still can’t snag me
a spot in Mike Sheahan’s Top Ten

THE GREEK SONG (tune: Zorba the Greek words: greg champion)

Ianis Kouros Demis Roussos

Mikinos Lesbos Mark Phillipousis

Ena dio tria spanikopita

Gia Karides Kotoufides

Domestos Vangelis

Aristotle Onassis

Spiros Arion George Donikian

ouzo tzatziki Zorba the Greeki

Maria Callas Telly Savalas

Christos Nikos Despina Taki

Roula Toula Voula Agape

Yassou retsina Mary Kostakidis

Yiros souvlaki Nana Mouskouri

Andreas Papandreou Spyro Agnew

Pythagoras Mikis Theodorakis

Santorini Delphi Melina Merkouri

Mary Coustas Angela Pippos

Fetta Andronicus Nick Giannopolous

Baklava mousaka Stavros Papadopolous

JANA (to the tune of LOLA, the Kinks) Chris McDonough-greg champion

I met her down in Canberra at the A.I.S.

Where you eat Sustain, which is cereal laced with banana

Ba-na-na-na-nana

She ran round the track at a lightning pace

And I asked her name when she finished her race, she said

Jana, ja-ja-ja-ja-Jana

She said the Gold was her destiny

But then she went and busted her knee,

Did Jana, ja-ja-ja-ja Jana

She found a Swiss doctor who was having lunch

He said,"wait for a minute, while I finish my veal parmigana"

Pa-pa-parmigana, ja-ja-ja-ja Jana

She said “hurry up and give me and MRI scan

Got a date in Athens, do you know who I am?” said Jana, ja-ja-ja-ja Jana

The Swiss quack said “je regrette my dear

But your knee is schtunkered, and you’re out for a year”,

Poor Jana, ja-ja-ja-ja Jana

BR.

Well Jana'd never had a knee go wrong

So she went for a second opinion

She went to London for surgery

And she threw away her crutches on TV

She flew into Athens looking relaxed

With a great big stack of hero faxes

Did Jana, ja-ja-ja-ja Jana

She got through her semis with her knee intact

Jumpin’ those hurdles like a pony at a Gymkhana

Ka-ka-ka-ka Kana

BR.2.

She burst from the blocks

She ran her race

She hit the line

She was in fifth place

But she’s not giving in, she’s going to Beijing

And that the way that Jana became

A front page legend household name

Did Jana, ja-ja-ja-ja Jana

Our Aussie battler, the paper said

Not so much a BM -

more like a fastback Torana

ta-ta-ta-Torana, ja-ja-ja-ja Jana……..

ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE WON A BROWNLOW…..

(all my friends are getting married) these words: chris mcdonough-champs

well all my friends have won a Brownlow

yes, they’re all on TV

they’re all pulling votes on the weekend

they’re all doing laps of the G

well I walked into the changerooms, for the Irish Test

and right by my locker, there he stood

I said “how are you doing Roo my boy?”

he was talking to Bucks and Adam Goodes

I tossed Nathan’s boot to Gavin Wanganeen

And he flicked it across to Jimmy Hird

Next thing ya know, Crawford’s grabbed the thing

And Akermanis had a few choice words

then Robert Harvey handballed a ball to me

but Simon Black jumped in and cut across

I dug Nathan Buckley in the ribs

And I shared a playful joke with Michael Voss

CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN

jane harris-champion

drive up to Buller, Mount Buffalo

all across the high plains, two metres of snow

Falls Creek is jumpin’, Hotham is too

Maybe Donna Buang, is the place for you

But what if this year

Is the year for your team

What if suddenly they

Are achieving their dreams

Stay back in Melbourne, head for the G

Climb on the band wagon, cheer the Mighty Ds!

G-TRAIN / folsom prison blues

words: greg champion

I see that G-train comin’

He’s running hard and fast

The G-train was unstoppable

But they said it couldn’t last

They said the mighty G-train

Was gonna get derailed

Now someone’s gonna have to

Go pay the G-train’s bail

now when he was a young man

his mama told him this

always be a good G-train

don’t ever use your fists

but he struck a man in anger

the judge he said “you’re gone”

now there’s a lotta sad old faces

way down in old Mentone

now when the G-train’s firin’

the Saints are hard to toss

but while he’s in the slammer

the Saints look kinda lost

they’re gonna need that G-train

around September time

‘cos the G-train works with Riewoldt

on that Moorabbin line

IF RIEWOLDT #2

tune: sixteen tons words: greg champion

I watched it all in the comfort of home

The Bombers tryin’ to match it at Disconnect Dome

They had Lloyd, Johnson, and Johnson too

But a fat lotta good that added up to

CH.

‘Cos whatever your game plan – they’ll wreck it

And last night they even played Justin Peckett

They had loads of talent, buckets of skill

And if Riewoldt don’t get ya then Gehrig will

The Saints led ‘em on a merry merry dance

Tell you the truth they never stood a chance

No Hird no Lucas, just another black day

With Riewoldt and Gehrig, blowin’ you away

CH.

They got lots of players who get the ball

A nice little balance of smalls and talls

Bodies of iron, fists of steel

And if Riewoldt don’t get ya then Gehrig will

If you see them coming better run and hide

‘Though we don’t know if they can play outside

But they’re not gonna have too many a loss

While they got little legends like Bretty Voss

CH.

‘Cos whatever your game plan – they’ll wreck it

And last night they even played Justin Peckett

They had loads of talent, buckets of skill

And if Riewoldt don’t get ya then Gehrig will

WALK ON THE BLUES SIDE
jane harris-greg champion

1.
from every corner of the AFL
with names that do not ring a lotta bells
changed theirnumber, and their hairdo
changed their jumper, now they?re a blue

they said "hey, we'll take a walk on the Blues side"
they said "hey Denis, we'll take a walk on the Blues side"
2.
Heath Scotland came to the Pies from Darley
But that all came to a Grand Finale
He wasn't getting a regular match
Said "think I'll move across the tracks"

He said "hey fellas, I'll take a walk on the Blues side"
CH.
And the fans go "who's the new Blues
Who's the new Blues Blues Blues
We don't know who's who's who
Who's the new Blues Blues Blues
Thye're all so new new new
We're so confused fused fused
Whos' the new Blues?
3.
Nick Stevens left Port Adelaide to roam
Thought that Collingwood would be his new home
Port said "hey, we'll take Didak"
Mick said "nup" and vetoed that

And Nick Stevens said "I?ll take a walk on the Blues side"

Couldn?t go for Collingwood
Words: Stuart Macarthur- Greg Champion
Tune: still call Australia home

I've seen the Lions win three in a row

Seen two for the West Coast and two to the Crows And although a Victorian flag would be good
I couldn't go for Collingwood

I backed St Kilda when they played the Crows
I prayed for the Cats to demolish West Coast
and although I have been through that dark neighbourhood
I couldn't go for Collingwood

All the sons and daughters of Victoria
Would consider a local flag great
But with Micky and Eddie and Joffa's gold coat
Just let it go interstate

It's not that I wanted old Port to get up
Or Sydney or Brisbane to hoik up the Cup
I just realize what I had always understood
I couldn't go for Collingwood

LANCE WHITNALL-[DANCING QUEEN]
Jane Harris-Greg Champion

1.
Friday night at Col-o-ni-al
Fans are pumped and the place is full
come to see the Blue Boys, all the young ones
and a few veterans

Everybody can see that guy
Bright red hair and bulging thighs
prowling on the backline, scary and tough
he likes to strut his stuff
and he will make the scene
CH.
'Cos he is Lance Whitnall, Senior Cit of the Carlton team
Lance Whitnall, stays away from the disco scene (oh yeah)
He don't dance, he don't jive, but he goes to training on time
woh oh, watch him jump, watch him fall
He is Lance Whitnall
2.
Bretty Thornton and Karl Norman
Trenty Sporn and Houlihan
All walk a little taller
Stand their own ground, knowing Lance is around

Any player who passes by
Do not look Lance in the eye
you will only inspire
You will lonely fire up the monster within
All hundred kilograms?
CH.
He is the Whitnall Man, Senior Cit of the Carlton team
Lance Whitnall, stays away from the disco scene (oh yeah)
He don't dance, he don't jive, but he goes to training on time
woh oh, watch him jump, watch him fall
He is Lance Whitnall

BARRY HALL -georgie girl
john ogge-greg champion

hey there Barry Hall
swingin' round the ground so fancy free
no-one else would know that there's a
caring person somewhere - inside you

hey there Barry Hall
why do people mis-und-er-stand you?
Could it be your shaven hair
Or is it the tats you wear?

You?re always looking like you are just about to let fly
It's time to be a Mr. Nice Guy ? a little bit

hey there Barry Hall
why do they all stay well clear of you
could it be your aftershave, or is it your eyebrow ring?
You're so threatening - be nice B/H

You kicked off at Moorabbin, but
Something happened down there
You went and cut off all of your hair ? it suits you too

hey there Barry Hall
there?s another Barry you might be
a famous celebrity, the toast of old Sydney town
so play the ball,
come on B/H
wake up B/H
take the next step B/H

STRAWBERRY FIELDS
Stuart Macarthur - Greg Champion
CH.
are you coming now
'cos we?re going to, the SCG
in sunny Sydney
the world's best-ever capital
Sydney Cricket Ground forever
1.
playing in Sydney is breezy
it's fine and sunny all the time
it's pretty easy to kick goals ? it's a boutique ground
that's where Mark Jackson once kicked nine
Ch.
Folks are coming down
Form the country to, the SCG
See celebrities
And everyone's a soapie star
Sydney Cricket Ground forever
2.
Sydney fans sure know their football
Or is that merely just a dream
Was that McPherson, no it's Saddington , I think
Oh no, O'Loughlin?s who I mean
CH.
Let me take you down
Cos we?re going to, the SCG
The Manly Fer-ry
Makes its way to Circular Quay
Sydney Cricket Ground forever

MRS. ROBINSON
john ogge-greg champion

and here's to you, Mr. Richardson
Spudman loves you more than you will know
Nah, yeah, no
Just don?t get hurt, Mr. Richardson
The winning streak of three might go away, hey hey hey
1.
They want to see you play a little more consistently
They want to know what goes on in your mind
Look around you all you see's inevitability
Go and kick a ton, the Tiges will still be ninth
CH.
and here?s to you, Mr. Richardson
KB loves you more than he can say
'cos he's stayin' away
so help us please, Mr. Richardson
which Richo is turning up today?, hey hey hey
2.
running to a forward flank where no-one else will go
taking spekkies just like disco Roach
give a little birdie, just a Richardson salute
most of all, you?ve got too not be petulant
3.
sitting on a sofa on a weekend afternoon
Richo's kicking ten against the Dogs
Laugh about it shout about it, we can all relate
Still probably miss out on the eight

Manuka Oval
tune: dancing in the dark words: greg champion

I'm driving Northbourne Avenue
And there's Botanical Gardens everywhere
I'm on my way through Civic
There's a big game on and I gotta be there
I'm not talkin' 'bout pollies
Not Labour v. Liberal or any of that
Talkin' AFL here
Today Canberra hosts a big big match
See that metal spire
Top o' Parliament House, well that's so ho-hum
Crossin' Lake Burley-Griffin
Look out Manuka Oval here I come
Around Capital Circle
Just ignore the sign to Kingston Shops
Exit at Canberra Avenue
Powerin' on to Griffith and we're not gonna stop
If you end up in Fyshwick
If you end up in Fyshwick you've gone too far
Take Captain Cook Crescent
And before you know it there you are
It's nowhere near Woden
Or Downer or Dickson or Deakin, no way
It's Manuka Oval
Kangaroos and Crowboys come to play
It's not called Manooka
If you say Manooka you'd be wrong
Kangaroos and Crowboys
So come on baby, were going along

Ramsgate Hotel incident
tune: battle of New Orleans words: greg champion

In 1836 they built a little town
They said this'll be the spot for a showdown
There'll be one called Port and one'll be the Crows
And they can battle it out until the cows come home
Two hundred years later and the showdowns were hot
And just after Port had won four on the trot
They all adjourned to a watering hole
And proceeded to act like the convicts of old
They drank their drinks and the players kept arriving
Down from Tapleys Hill and West Beach Road
'Cos word got out that a hotel carpark
was where the two tribes were gonna have a go
they all assembled near the beach that day
to settle their differences the old-fashioned way
nothing too rough just a push and a shove
just to reflect their respect and love
one pushed one and one pushed the otherv and before you knew it, it was really on
the cops were called but before they got there
the Pub was empty and the boys were gone
And over at West Lakes and down at the Port
They chuckled and said 'it was just a bit of sport'
That's the way the game should be played
And that's how we do things in old Adelaide
They drank their drinks and the players kept arriving
Down from Tapleys Hill and West Beach Road
one pushed one and one pushed the other
and before you knew it they were having a go

[tune:cat's in the cradle] matthew
words: john ogge - greg champion

A kid arrived just the other day
Everybody said this kid can play
He's done all the tests, jumped through the hoops
He's destined for the leadership group
But the best thing of all is his Christian name
He's another star called Matthew
He's another Matthew too
CH.
And there's 3 at the Bulldogs, 2 at the Crows
why so many, nobody knows [where they come from nobody knows]
another 2 at Catland, 4 at the Blues
but the Blues are still gonna lose, boys
you know they're just gonna lose
2.
the parents of Lappin, the parents of Lloyd
wondered what to call their baby boy
Mr & Mrs Primus had one
So did the parents Richardson
They took one look at their bundle of joy
Said 'I think we'll call the boy Matty
Yes, Matty will do nicely'
CH.
And there's a couple at Port, just one at the Woods
Maybe that's why they're not going so good
3 at Melbourne, same at the Roos
Matty is the name to use, yeah
It's the one they all choose
CH.
and there are zero Stanleys, not one Jack
one Cetanta, just one Max
Marks and Lukes and Johns, a few
But not as many as Matthew
Not as many as Matthew
3.
A child arrived just the other day
Came into the world in the usual way
His folks pulled a few names out of a hat
Decided they would call him Matt
'cos if you want your kiddy to be a star
that's the best name by far, yeah
Matty's the best by far

ONLY TIME WILL TELL
Tune: California Dreamin' words: john ogge-greg champion

Are the Saints for real
Are the Bombers gone?
Will the Roos decline
Where to now for Geelong?
Can the Bullies win one
Can Michael Voss still play?
Only time will tell
At the end of the day
2.
Walked down to the ground
On one cold Saturday
No-one at the turnstiles
They weren't playing that day
Is footy still the same now
Or has it really changed?
Only time will tell
That's all I can say
3.
when it's Pies v. Dees
who gets to play at home?
How much is a pie
At Disconnect dome
Are the Tiges improving
It's so hard to say
Only time will tell
At the end of the day
4.
what about the Crows
what's going on there?
and I keep on wondering
how much do I care?
Ayresy Rohdey Frawley
Will they go or stay?
Only time will tell
At the end of the day

SETANTA O'HAILPIN'S COMING TO TOWN
tune: santa claus is coming to town words: jane harris- greg champion

1.
you better get set
you better go wild
there's a hot new kid from the Emerald Isle
Setanta O'hAilpin's coming to town
2.
He's looking the goods
Showing the signs
They reckon they've got another Jimmy Stynes
Setanta O'hAilpin's coming to town
BR.
He's gonna find it different
To the land where he was born
There's not as many jigs and reels
And leaping leprechauns
3.
he'll be dressing up good
getting all groomed
and heading on down to Molly Blooms
Setanta O'hAilpin's coming to town
BR.
They brought him in form Ireland
He's a long long way from home
But he's writing letters to his girl
The young Molly Malone
4.
he's one point nine six metres tall
let's see if he gets the ball
Setanta O'hAilpin's coming to town

DOWN TO KARDINIA
tune: the river, [Springsteen] words: alf davies-ogge-champion

I come from down Corio
Where mister when you're young
They bring you up to think you'll be
Another Neville Bruns
I grew up with the Nankervis boys
In the back streets of Anakie
And there hasn't been a lot to cheer about
Since 1963
CH.
We'd go down to Kardinia
And cheer our side with pride
When the Nankervis boys would kick it wi-i-de
2.
We lost in '67
And we took it pretty hard
But for my 19th birthday
I got a Michael Turner Scanlan's footy card
I took it to school and swapped it
For a Scratcher Neal card, but then
Someone beat me up and flogged it
And I never got it back again
CH.
We'd go down to Kardinia
With a thermos of Mum's best soup
Oh, and cheer for the blue and white hoops
3.
we got into a few Grand Finals
in those dark and cruel nineties
but lately there ain't been much success
on account of the conspiracy
the draw is stacked against us
we always play the stronger teams
and the AFL makes sure we don't
get on the TV
BR.
But I've seen Gary Malarkey and Bobby Dav-us
I saw Sidey waving at the Waverley bus
And at nights in Norlane I lie awake
And replay all the marks I saw Ablett take
Now those memories come back to haunt me
They haunt me like a curse
Missing out on those Grand Finals, and now
Well, things couldn't get much worse
CH.
And we'd go down to Kardinia
And through the old-fashioned turnstiles
Oh and after, get sloshed at the Lord of the Isles

The Coodabeen Champions