Manangatang Horn

The unofficial publication of the Coodabeen Champions (ex Cavendish Bugle, ex Trumpet)

The Coodabeens- blinding people with mace

Vol 1 No. 4. August 2001 © Written & Edited by Tim Goddard.

Leonard speaks his mind

This week we sit down and chew the fat with Coodabeens own multi media mega star, Tony Leonard. We sat on two Chesterfields delicately placed smack bang in the middle of the Exhibition Buildings. Brown snakes were roaming freely at the time.

MH: Tony, do you like the new M Trains?

TL: Only if they’re on time and not crowded.

MH: You’re a retired public servant, shouldn’t you be tending your veggie patch in Rosebud?

TL: I’m not retired, I left voluntarily.

MH: Sure. Your footballing knowledge seems limited to knowing where a player was drafted from, why?

TL: Look. I know the game backwards and knowing where the players came from is just one in a whole string of player and football facts I have at my disposal. I’m very knowledgable.

MH: No you’re not. It’s a ploy to disguise your lack of knowledge on tactics and the game in general.

TL: Bollocks. Prove it.

MH: Do you ever look at a tree and get aroused?

TL: No.

MH: How come Torch is a Coodabeen when in actual fact he’s a Oncewas?

TL: Some people say it gives us street cred. Though Champy believes it gives the team balance and good energy flows.

MH: Footscray changed their name to the Western Bulldogs to broaden its supporter base and get more members. It hasn’t worked. What will they change their name to next?

TL: Foxtel I reckon.

MH: Is that a possum on your head?

TL: NO!!!!!! NO!

MH: Do you think birds look at fish and get jealous as they can’t swim?

TL: What? No.

MH: Do you think trees deserve to be cut down when they group themselves n a copse or forest type arrangement? I mean, they’ve rounded themselves up, ready for a slaughter.

TL: Rounded themselves up? They can’t move.

MH: Yes they can, they got there somehow.

TL: This is stupid, I’m going.

MH: No, hang on a few more. Tony, come back here. Moody bastard.

TL: Nuff nuff.

MH: Yella. Possum wearer.

TL: Get a dog up ya.

MH: Am not, you are.

TL: Are too!

MH: Are not. Infinity plus one.

TL: Oh yeah! Well, that’s nothin’. Infinity plus infinity! So there!!!!!

Blow me down

In startling news, a leading AFL player is about to buy a house in a suburb close to another AFL player who is selling his house. Strewth.

MuSick

Pink Floyd are shocking and Queen have released more bad songs than any other band (just pipping Phil Collins, the Eagles, any boy band, Live, Creed, Aerosmith, G’n’R, Kiss, etc).

AFL Chief Shows Guts

"Incredibly brave", that’s how all and sundry described the decision by the AFL to publicly support the competition it manages. Many Presidents of the 16 clubs are still recovering from shock. Whilst the AFL is concerned about the adverse reaction surrounding the decision, they believe the public will realise the game has to become more professional to compete with other forms of entertainment. "Whilst the public may deride this decision, we cannot do as they want all the time. Amalgamations, relocations and rapid price increases are not in the game’s interest, despite all having overwhelming support of the fans".

Tigers ninth, yet alive?

"There is no other course I can take" stated a clearly upset Richmond President, Clinton Casey. "I take full blame for the side reaching the eight. We base our whole marketing strategy and membership drive on the promise that we will make the eight, when in actual fact we just miss out. It’s a wonderful marketing tool as it keeps everyone excited at the prospect of finally making the eight the following year. By actually making good on the promise and finishing in the eight, the Club is stuffed. My only course of action is to resign". The future of Danny Frawley is uncertain, but a decision is imminent.

Australian game is world class

How can AFL clubs desire to become world class when the game is only played here?

Simple yet hard

If football is a simple game played by simple people, they why did I find it so difficult to play?

Roos have roof over tool shed

Cash strapped North Melbourne have agreed to a one off sponsorship deal with Colorbond Steel Roofing. As part of the deal, North are to wear strips made from Colorbond steel during their final round match against the Magpies. The colours are yet to be determined but Dennis Pagan believes it may give his payers the edge in what should be a dour contest. North Melbourne will receive a new roof over their change rooms and a box of surplus stationary to help out in the office.

Competition

The current post game routine of ‘After the second siren’ should be allowed on Grand Final day. What better way for the AFL to show that it respects and appreciates the fans. Sure, hand out the medals, get the opposition off, then ring the bell. Players are temporary fixtures in AFL clubs and merely carry out the wishes of the fans by winning a grand final. Fence the players off if you wish, but let the fans on the ground. If this is too radical, simply turn up the volume, blast the stadium with ads for coke, prepare microphones for speeches with some feedback and watch how far players can put their arms in the air. That’d work.

Bring back Bill Furg

I am sure all competition entrants are grateful to Choclatier and Advantage Saver (I am speculating here as I have never won), but really, Bill Furg’s Lobster Cave is where it’s at. Is this not true?

Tim Goddard 0418 309 343. Keep the Seagulls where they are !